Once upon a time in Rock City there was a Magic Valley. Here lived the legendary Stone Witch, Galoochee. She stoically kept a steady eye on the mystical property caring for all life within Rock City. While only her face was visible, her presence was always felt. Her companions and helpers were the gnomes.
While gnomes typically avoid witches (as well as elves, goblins, house ghosts, dwarfs, nymphs, uldras and sorcerers) the gnomes of Rock City developed a friendly relationship with Galoochee, helping her care for the animals with their intellect and technical skills.
In case you didn’t know, gnomes have all kinds of cures for their animal friends of which they maintain close contact. They help remove ticks, perform lifesaving surgeries and even have a special way of healing broken limbs.
In addition to helping keep the animals and plant life healthy, the gnomes would share their skills and hobbies with Galoochee.
Edvard would write songs and perform them for her on his pan flute. Bergmann would bring crystals he had uncovered from Fairyland Caverns. Nimble shared adventurous tales of her mountaineering pursuits, and Leif would bring seeds and healing plants.
With the help of the gnomes, plants, animals and mystical creatures of all kinds in Rock City flourished living in a happy and peaceful existence.
That is until one autumn day when a snotgurgle showed up!
What is a snotgurgle you may ask? Well, a snotgurgle is a terrible tormenting creature, mercifully there are only two or three in the entire world.
They are as large as a troll, have six black-clawed fingers on each hand, enormous flat feet with seven toes on each foot. Their greasy, stinking body hair is infested with lice and fleas—which seem not to bother them. Hair covers the creature from head to toe, even on their faces, where between greasy locks, only gleaming idiotic eyes can be seen. Snotgurgles can live to be 2,000 years old, and they are born thieves. They love gold, silver, and crystal gems.
Snotgurgles are a gnomes worst nightmare!
They seek to destroy gnomes’ homes with their foul, scorching breath incinerating everything inside. Sadly, a gnome in the power of a snotgurgle has little chance of survival. But they aren’t the only ones. These terrible creatures wreak havoc wherever they go and are known to steal things.
You can imagine the panic of the gnomes when they heard a snotgurgle had come to Lookout Mountain. Animals across the mountain sent messages to Rock City, with warnings of the snotgurgle’s destructive path. They knew they had to act quickly to protect their mountain home, for if he made it to Rock City he would most certainly destroy the beautiful place, as well as steal all the crystal gems from Fairyland Caverns.
The gnomes, frightened as could be, told Galoochee of the impending doom and their deep fear. She calmed their worries sharing that if they all worked together, they could keep Rock City safe. Together they devised a plan to capture the snotgurgle, fly him away, and banish him forever.
First, Galoochee invited the spirits of the mountain to come to life. Ghosts appeared in Grand Corridor and skeletons rose out of the depths of Fairyland Caverns. These mountain ancestors stood watch to ensure all life within Rock City was safe.
Next, she summoned all the spiders across the gardens to convene on the Swinging Bridges trail. They quickly began weaving traps, webs, and a net that would be large enough to trap the snotgurgle.
Lastly, she devised a plan to fly the creature far away using bats!
Bats were to be stationed in Hall of the Mountain King until a signal was sent. Once they got the message they were to fly together, pick up the snotgurgle and carry him to a distant land so that he may never return to Rock City.
This was a thoughtful plan that would require communal effort. All living things in Rock City would need to work together to defeat the snotgurgle.
Bergmann unearthed the biggest, shiniest crystal gem he could find (because snotgurgles love shiny things) and hauled it to Lover’s Leap to place it in the sun. There it would glimmer and refract in the sun’s rays, attracting the selfish beast.
Sure enough it worked!
The snotgurgle made his way across Lookout Mountain and entered Rock City, but as he’d never been here before he quickly got confused. He could see the reflections and refractions of the crystal gem but didn’t know how to find it.
As his confusion and frustration grew, he began to run. Rushing and thrashing his way through Grand Corridor, he felt trapped and began to panic. Ghosts of the mountain played tricks on him transforming into gnomes causing more mayhem and panic for the foul beast.
The snotgurgle grew more mad with each step, becoming clumsier and less careful with his movements. Emerging out of Grand Corridor he found himself passing through Goblins underpass. Goblins, typically familiar friends, weren’t there. They too had decided that Rock City was better off without a snotgurgle and vacated their usual home to help with the efforts.
He emerged on the Swing Bridges trail. Blinded by rage, he didn’t see the traps the spiders had carefully laid. He ran forward, snarling into a web, stumbled, fought to break free, and finally fell into the giant net they had woven.
The more he twisted and turned, the more entangled he became. Screaming a fearsome cry, he realized he had been tricked and trapped!
Nimble, using her expert mountaineering skills, tied him up tight, making sure he couldn’t escape the net. She glanced at Edvard, who played a tune on his pan flute, signaling the bats that it was time to carry the snotgurgle away. The bats swooped out of the Hall of the Mountain King, lifted the trapped snotgurgle, and soared into the sky.
All the mystical creatures of Rock City gathered on Lover’s Leap, watching as the bats carried him off. They didn’t know exactly where he was going, but they were certain it was a distant land where he could never trouble them again.
As the snotgurgle disappeared in the distance everyone began to cheer! They had done it! They had captured the snotgurgle and protected Rock City. They returned to Magic Valley to thank Galoochee, for without her help they wouldn’t have known what to do.
She applauded them for their hard work and for coming together despite the challenges. Galoochee reminded all the mystical creatures that their home was safest when they stood side by side. But there was still one more task to be done…
They had to be certain the snotgurgle—or any other beast—could never return to Rock City.
So Leif scattered pumpkin seeds all across the mountain. Normally such seeds take many months to sprout, but with Galoochee’s magic they grew overnight into mighty pumpkins, glowing warmly from within. Their shining eyes watched over the cliffs and trails, and from that day forward, the pumpkins became the faithful guardians of Rock City.
…or should we call them gourdians?
As for Galoochee, she remains in Magic Valley and if you look really closely through the bamboo bridge you might be able to spot her.
The End
Much of what we know about gnomes, their friends, and even their foes, the snotgurgles, comes from the classic Gnomes by Wil Huygen, illustrated by Rien Poortvliet (Abrams, 1977). We are grateful for the information it has given this tale.